running nowhere

I had a dream two nights ago that completely explains my life right now.

I was rushing around trying to get ready to leave for some kind of trip with hubs and some friends. Each time I tried to leave, I realized I forgot something, so I'd run around the house to get it. Then I couldn't find my socks and in each drawer there was everything but socks. So I realized I left my socks at my friend's house. Meanwhile, hubs would pop in and tell me to hurry up. So when I left to get my socks from my friend's house, I tried running there, but it was like the sidewalk was almost verticle and I couldn't move! Hubs was next to me walking just fine and easily and I just couldn't move.

Then I woke up.

I totally understand this dream. I feel completely out of control in this whole wanting to have a baby thing. It's mostly out of my hands. I know it will happen when it's supposed to happen, but I love to be in control of my life! That probably has most to do with being a teacher, I like to plan everything out. I can't plan things out on this.

Alright, I've gotten that out. I needed to vent a little. My attitude has been positive for the most part on this whole thing, but I can't hold in the struggle or it will eat me alive! :o)