Today when baby Shupe was kicking me, I was thinking, I wonder if he/she realizes that I poke back and what is going through that little head?
Then it hit me... I will never know! This little baby won't remember all these fun times we're already having together and that totally bums me out! So I figured I'd write him/her a letter and maybe someday I can give it to him/her.
Dear Baby Shupe,
I don't really, actually know you yet, we've never met, but I know you more than anyone else in the whole world knows you!
I know way, way back to a few months ago, I felt little flutters and while I was watching TV and I felt really silly when I turned the volume way down so I could feel the flutters better. That was the first time you made me laugh! Of course I was laughing at myself, but it was because of you. That's something you'll learn when you grow up, me and your daddy are really good at laughing at ourselves and making each other laugh, too. I think you'll be the same way.
Then a few weeks later, I was laying on my side on your daddy's lap and I felt you moving and kicking! That was the most exciting moment of my whole life... 24 years lead up to that one perfect moment on the couch. It was really fun. I learned about you that if I wanted to feel you kicking me, I had to lay a very certain way, and the best way was when your daddy was my pillow. I could lay like that forever if it meant I got to know that you were there.
Sometimes when you kick me, I want to remember that moment so I can ask you about it later. I think, "Wow! That was a big kick, baby Shupe will have to remember that one!" But then, I realize you're just an itty-bitty, little thing and I'll have to tell you about it someday. It makes me a little sad because those are our first times playing together and you won't remember them, but I can already imagine the day when I tell you all about when you kicked mommy's belly. That makes me smile because I'll really be able to see you then! Maybe you'll be sitting on my lap or I'll be tucking you into bed and I'll tell you all the stories I can remember about things before you can remember!
Like, when your daddy leaves in the morning, he always rubs my belly and says bye to you and when he comes home, he always rubs my belly, too! He sure loves you a lot already. I think you know him, even though sometimes you're a little stinker and you stop moving around when he's trying to play with you.
I also know that you are already so loved! Not only by me and your daddy, but your grandmas and grandpas and cousins. Your cousin Xander calls you "baby boy cousin," he says that's your name and he thinks you're a boy. I wonder if he's right?
In just about a month, we are going to meet for the very first time and I know I'm going to never, ever want to let you out of my arms because I waited a long 9 months to see your cute face and touch your soft skin. But I will let you out of my arms because that's something mommy's do... they share. And I know in 5 years I'll remember how hard it was to be in the same room with you while someone else held you, but then you'll maybe be at a friend's house and I think it'll feel just as hard as the first time I let you out of my arms.
I have so much to tell you, but I know I have years and years to hold you and tell you lots of stories. Even though you might not remember these things, I know I'll never, ever forget them.
I love you so much, baby!
Love,
Mommy
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